Nicole Clark, MSW

Women Making Moves!: Interview with Arielle Loren

Hey y’all,

This week kicks off a new segment called “Women Making Moves!” Each week, I interview a woman or girl of color who is (or is aspiring in) making a name for herself in the areas of sexual/reproductive health, overall health and wellness, feminism, activism, entrepreneurship, the arts and sciences, and in all-around pro-woman goodness. The goals of “Women Making Moves!” are to 1) add to the growing images and stories of women and girls of color that defy societal stereotypes, 2) expose you all to potential career paths and opportunities, and 3) give our featured person more exposure so you can support them and their work.

Kicking off the segment is writer and filmmaker Arielle Loren. I was introduced to Arielle and her amazing work via Twitter (you can follow her here ) . While a student at New York University, Arielle wrote her senior thesis on African American women’s experience with dating men who identify as bisexual, and her documentary Bideology was born, and it will be premiering at film festivals in Spring 2012. Arielle is also a regular writer for such sites as Clutch Magazine and Frugivore Magazine. Presently, Arielle is gearing up to travel the world for the next year! Not only is Arielle great at what she does, but she’s also a wonderful person. Read more about Arielle and her work, and support!

What was a defining moment that propelled you onto the career path you’re on now?

On the cusp of my senior year in college, I fell in love with my bestfriend, who happened to be bisexual. It brought up a whole wind of emotions, but most notably my misconceptions of male bisexuality. Confronting the latter, I wrote a thesis on African-American women’s perspectives on male bisexuality and the “down low,” which required an extensive reading of sexuality discourse. Through the works of scholars like Michel Foucault, Gayle Rubin, and Patricia Hill Collins, I found a hidden passion for smart conversations on sex and society. I started building a career from there.

Your documentary “Bideology” was inspired by a friendship you had with a man who described himself as bisexual, as well as conversations with New York City women who have also been in similar dating circumstances. The documentary is set to premiere in Spring 2012. How will Bideology add to the discussion on perceived heteronormative sexual/dating relationships, particularly for women of color?

As women, I believe we are socialized to stereotype a man by his sexual orientation. If he’s straight, he’s “normal” and “datable.” If he’s bisexual, he’s “confused” and out to make life a dose of hell. If he’s gay, then he’s not part of this issue. The truth is that sexual orientation is not a fixed entity, as we’ve often been taught in communities of color. While some experience strong feelings of one sexual orientation their entire lives, others experience a plethora of attractions, and that’s okay. The best thing that all women can do is judge by the individual when dating men or women. If a person is willing to be honest and authentic about their sexual attractions, we should honor that as a symbol of strong character. Don’t believe the hype, there are bisexual men, like heterosexual men, that are capable of loving, monogamous relationships. Judge by the individual, just as your personhood can’t be defined by a stereotype.

It’s Career Day at a nearby school, and you’ve been invited to speak to a classroom of 13-year-old girls. How would you describe your career to them in a way that excites them and makes them want to learn more?

I talk about things that most people are scared to discuss in public but everyone experiences. It’s my job to make people comfortable about their feelings, attractions, and body. I write and make films to empower people to acknowledge the truth within themselves and others. My job also inspires me to grow and learn more about my inner desires each day.

What do you enjoy most about being a woman of color?

I really feel beautiful every time I look at the hue of my brown skin, the kinked curliness of my hair, and the roundness of my petite curves. As a black woman, feeling beautiful requires a certain level of depth, as you truly must go within for affirmation. But with that journey comes camaraderie and community, as I’ve found other brown sisters walking similar paths. I appreciate the support and enjoy the sisterhood. It brings out the power in all of us.

When (and how) did you make the decision to live life on your own terms?

In the spring of 2011, I decided to quit my full-time job in marketing to give my writing and filmmaking optimal attention. The decision sparked a lot of confusion from friends and family, as I worked for a wonderful company that wanted to move me through their ranks. But everyday, I’d have to face the slow progress of my creative career in exchange for a 9-5 paycheck to cover my rent in New York. I woke up one morning, had a stressful day at work, and submitted my letter of resignation that evening. If I were going to be unhappy or stressed, it’d have to be on my terms and doing something that spoke to my core. Within weeks, I moved out of my apartment, made arrangements to pursue an artist-in-residency in Brazil, and prepared to “be” the artist that I already knew I was. Nothing is worth turning back.

Can you provide 3 quick tips for up-and-coming entrepreneurs who are looking to develop their brand?

Be authentic. There’s nothing worse than someone distorting his or her individuality to build a brand that doesn’t resonate within. Be selective. People will attempt to tell you when and how to launch your business, only take advice from those who respect and honor your vision. Be courageous. Stagnancy is part of the game; bring your hunger and allow it to propel you through slow periods. Entrepreneurship is often a one-person show, so the pace of your pulse is your business’ lifeline.

Given your busy schedule, how do you prioritize self-care (the practice of taking care of your physical/mental health to preventing burn-out) into your life?

Reading is my refuge, even more so than writing. My favorite author is Paulo Coelho, you’ll always find me with one of his books on hand. Or I may take a few hours to read Sufi poetry, it’s incredible how emotions transcend centuries. Physically, I enjoy eating healthy foods, yoga, dancing, and running. I enjoy nurturing my whole self, and it’s easy to prioritize what you enjoy.

You’re preparing to travel abroad for the next year, beginning your travels in Brazil. What are you most looking forward to in your travels?

When living in New York, it’s easy to get distracted by the constant connectedness to everything electronic. In my previous travels, I noticed that other countries don’t harbor digital culture. I want to disconnect. I find that my creative power is strongest when Internet is not readily available and nature is my visual stimulation. I need to complete a longer piece of work that really pulls from my depth and the lessons I’ve learned over these last two decades. In order to get myself to that creative space, I have to travel and I look forward to the inspiration that awaits me.

If you were not in the career path you’re currently in, what would you be doing? Would people be surprised?

You know, I don’t necessarily see my career as a fixed entity. I have a lot of interests even though writing and filmmaking pay my bills. I do want to learn how to play the piano, maybe record some sort of musical complement to my writing, or something like that. I guess looking back that might have been a cool journey to pursue if my writing and filmmaking interests didn’t consume me. But it’s not too late. I’ll learn the piano, find a band, and manifest my creativity in that way too. Creativity is fluid, so I’m my only limitation. I’ll get there eventually.

Think back 10 years ago. What advice would you give to your younger self about love, career, and following your passion?

The universe doesn’t allow you to see the whole future on purpose. Spontaneity is your friend. Your spirit is your friend. Your voice is needed. Keep writing and creating. The world awaits you.

Thanks, Arielle!

Women Making Moves!: Interview with Sarah Audelo